True Life: I'm A Pens Broad.....

For those looking for a game recap, Pens ate it 3-4 against the Habs. It's only the preseason and that's the extent of our recap. Pens Broads have more important things.....

If you haven't been following us on Twitter, then...well....why the hell are you here?!?!
Last night lisaarec, fleurydelis, deLioncourt34, jackieinserra, miche11ehcim, drscooter (our odd man out) and myself (mundah) decided to revamp one of the greatest shows of all time: True Life.

As you can see here, it doesn't take much to launch our twisted minds to an unreal level:
mundah: the hockey kid on True Life almost made me cry until i saw he had a Red Wings jersey hanging in his room
fleurydelis: what was it... "true life, my team lost the stanley cup and I cried and bitched on A2Y for four months"?
mundah: BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! They should make "True Life: I lost the Stanley Cup to the Penguins"
lisaarec: starring Marian Hossa featuring Pierre McGuire and Mike Richards' leadership. Or maybe he should just have his own
mundah: That would be "True Life Marian Hossa: I can't win The Cup"
lisaarec: True Life: I'm a leader
fleurydelis: they could legit make a season of that show dedicated to this year's playoffs alone
fleurydelis: True Life: "I Said, 'Oh Shit!'"
miche11ehcim: True Life: He Didn't Shake My Hand
lisaarec: True Life: "Pens Won the Cup"
fleurydelis: True Life: Geno Made Me His Bitch
fleurydelis: True Life: Has Big Taste
mundah: True Life: I'm Score

Then deLioncourt34 just had to take it to a whole new level....
deLioncourt34: True Life: Max got me pregnant...
fleurydelis: think of the number of women who'd be featured on that episode
mundah: True Life: Superstar Is My Baby Daddy Chicka Chicka Cheeee

Cue drscooter's attempt to steal some thunder.....
drscooter: True Life: I Have A Ginger Fro
drscooter: True Life: I'm a Guy With A Tramp Stamp
drscooter: True Life: I'm French Toast
drscooter: True Life: I Choked At The Last Second
drscooter: True Life: I Choke When It Matters

But our Russian With Love wasn't having none of that....
jackieinserra: True Life: 'I'mma let you finish, but I just wanted to tell you that this is the best 'True Life' of all time'.

Ladies and gentlemen, see you in hell.....

Go Pens.

'Twas The Night Before Camp...

'Twas the night before Camp, and all through Hockeytahn

Not a creature was in all of dahntahn;

The equipment was hung in the lockers with care,

In hopes that our boys soon would be there;

The Pensbroads were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Lord Stanley danced in their heads;

And mamma Malkin in her 'kerchief, and Vlad in his cap,

Had just settled down for last season’s recap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Iceburgh sprang from the Igloo to see what was the matter.

Away to the window Mario flew like a flash,

Opened the roof with a huge crash.

The shine on the Cup of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of glory to fans below,

When, who to our wondering eyes should appear,

But Disco Dan, and forty seven players dressed in gear,

With a little smirk and their usual finesse,

We knew in a moment it was all business.

More rapid than eagles his players they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Flower! now, Geno! now, Talbot and Sidney!

On, Tanger! on Gonchar! on, Ruslan and Billy G!

To center ice! To the boards, & back on my call!

Now skate away! skate away! skate away all!"

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,

And filled the net with pucks; then turned with a jerk,

It’s a Great Day for Hockey, everyone knows

We love the ‘Guins so we wrote this prose;

Last year ended on such a high note,

Our hearts to the Pens we do devote

Let’s Go Pens, Let’s Go Pens it’s Mellon’s last ride,

"We’re the City of Champions with Black & Gold Pride"